Why it’s never helpful to punish a child

Camilla McGill of My Parenting Solutions

We need to teach our children so many things – we can teach by modelling, helping them to learn, encouraging them, finding things that interest them.

So that’s why I use the term Positive Discipline. But in order to teach we mustn’t ever punish.

Punishment is not only damaging to our relationship with our child but it builds fear and resentment.

We must remember that children, especially but not exclusively toddlers and pre-schoolers are impulsive, egocentric, curious, fearless and egocentric.

They are full of emotions, they don’t stop to think, and they don’t understand why they’re expected to behave in a certain way.

Here are a few principles for Positive Discipline (remember it means to teach and help learn).

Kids are sponges – so the more positive we are with them, the better they will respond. So we need to be a good role model and do things like

Show respect to them in the way we talk to them – our tone of voice and the words we use

Show kindness to them and to others –so we need to model doing kind things to others and never speaking badly of others in their earshot

Have clear routines and boundaries and consistently stick with them – A lot of misbehaviour is because kids are unclear about where they stand and we’re inconsistent with our routines. Be prepared to stand firm but in a positive, non-threatening way.

Use positive reinforcement – when we notice and mention what kids ARE doing (rather than what they aren’t doing), it is motivating to them.

Avoid all threats – Positive discipline means that we avoid all threats ‘If you don’t do x then y will happen’.

Use active consequences – help kids to make amends, for example, if they’ve physically hurt someone else, support them to do a ‘sorry’ drawing or stroke or put some cream on the damaged area.

This was brought to you by Camilla McGill of My Parenting Solutions

Camilla has a new mini video course, designed for time-stretched parents being released soon, so keep your eyes out for it in next week’s newsletter for details :
‘How to use the G.R.E.A.T method to get your kids to listen (without ever needing to nag or shout),

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